


Scientific pick up lines

by Ofneons



Category: Carmilla - Fandom, carmilla the webseries
Genre: Fluff, Other, Science, and science pick up lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2014-10-23
Packaged: 2018-02-22 08:43:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2501621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ofneons/pseuds/Ofneons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which LaFontaine accidentally gets drunk and tries to flirt with Lola through terrible science pick up lines.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scientific pick up lines

**Author's Note:**

> A little request by the lovely kbearluna on tumblr also known as the girl who plays LaFontaine! Request more stuff at ofneons.tumblr.com and I hope you like it!

In which LaFontaine "accidentally” gets drunk and tries to pick up their best friend with terrible science pick up lines 

 

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Of course LaFontaine has to experiment with alcohol at some point in their life. No, not experiment as in going to parties, getting wasted and grinding against some pretty stranger all night but experimenting as in trying to make a cloud in a bottle out of vodka and ending up tipsy and giggly. 

When Perry arrives from the library, textbooks in one hand and an order of vegetarian pizza on the other, it doesn’t shock her to find empty soda bottles everywhere and LaF in their knees on the floor glancing over at a specifically big bottle with white smoke dripping off it. It’s common, really, Perry comes back after a day of studying to find LaF working on some slightly unsafe but highly amusing experiment. 

“Well hello, thank you for the mess. What are you doing?” Perry puts down her books carefully and places the pizza on a secretary before kneeling next to her best friend. LaF is smirking down at their bottle with a very proud look and their safety goggles. She frowns at Perry for a second and then sticks out their tongue. 

“I’m having fun Lola! I’m making smooooke! Look! Isn’t it great!?” Perry sees the empty bottle of vodka on the floor and things start to make sense. Damn it LaFontaine and their lack of security measures! 

“What is causing the, uhm, smoke?” Perry carefully asks, just to confirm, smelling the strong scent of alcohol in the air and scrunching up her nose in disgust. What was even LaF thinking? Sure, their science had been weirder and more dangerous before, but this was just ridiculous. How did they even get the vodka? None of them were particularly big drinkers and Perry was way too much of a chicken (in LaFontaine’s words) to let LaF play around with inflammable substances in their room. Of course they brush it off anyway.

LaFontaine giggles and holds up the bottle, glaring at it like it’s their first child and they're seeing it for the first time.

“Vodka, of course. I’m not sure if this is the right procedure but look Perry! Smoke!” LaFontaine makes a move to get up but their foot accidentally lands on top of a smaller bottle and they fall hard on top of Perry who just sighs and helps them up.  
LaFontaine hugs her with a new found suffocating strength, much to Perry’s confusion. The curly haired girl wraps her arms awkwardly around LaFontaine, she figures it’s for the best is her best friend doesn’t fall again, besides, it’s a great excuse to hold them.

“Thank you Perry. You’re amazing, did you know that?” Perry blushes deep red and coughs tying hide how flustered she actually is.

“Susan, let me breathe.” Perry demands but it comes out breathy and amused and LaFontaine takes it as a challenge, the damned idiot snickers, they wink at Perry and make a quick move to peck the girl’s forehead. Perry feels her heart beat everywhere and (how out of character) she thanks God that LaFontaine is drunk, otherwise they would have noticed how flushed their best friend looks. "You make my anoxic sediments want to increase their redox potential.” LaFontaine recites with their right hand on their chest where their heart lays.

 

Oh no, the return of the damn scientific pick up lines...

It had only happened this one other time when LaF had accidentally eaten pot brownies and started hitting on Perry with the most complicated and ridiculous science jokes. It went on and on all night until Perry shut them up with a Marvel movie and McDonald’s sliced apples. It worked rather well but it also increased how not-platonicly Perry felt about LaF.

 

“How about we just lay down, yes?” Perry suggests with fake-happiness as she guides LaFontaine to sit on the nearest bed, gaining a pout from her. “Susan come on, not now.”

“You know Perry, you’re just like telophase.” LaFontaine replies with a straight face.

“Really? How so? Perry murmurs with an eye roll, it’s inevitable and she’ll have to take it.

“I really do admire your cleavage.” And with that LaFontaine breaks down in fits of giggles and Perry simply sighs, because really, when does Perry even show cleavage? “Come on that one was dope.” Perry shoots them a fake unamused look. “Okay, okay! I can step up my game!”

“Please don’t.” Perry doesn’t fully mean it, it’s quite entertaining, this state of bobbly feisty LaFontaine hitting on her and Perry can’t deny it gives her a pretty nice ego-bust. She knows LaF and her have a weird relationship: they’ll hold hands and snuggle each other all night once their beds are pushed together but will never actually label anything or talk to each other like they actually became something more than friends over time, which can get… extremely frustrating. 

“Too late Lola. That little body of yours would look better accelerating towards my bed at 9.8m/s2 maybe we could couple our equations?” Lafontaine raises one messily arranged eyebrow and cocks their head to the side proudly whilst they watch Perry's open and close her mouth in embarrassment. 

“How about I put some series on and we eat some pizza?” Perry shrieks out as she paces to get her pizza and get back with her breath elaborated. Jesus LaFontaine will be the death of her someday. Either that or their messed up label-free relationship. Anyway, LaFontaine will be included in the reason of her extinction. 

“How about you come here for a covalent bond, instead?” LaFontaine clumsily stands up, their hands waving around for balance, they fall back on the bed much to Perry’s amusement, who giggles and covers her mouth with her hand. “Maybe you’re right. I need to sleep it off.” LaFontaine admits sheepishly, reaching around for the ends of the covers so they can slip inside their bed.

“Wait! You can’t sleep in that you’ll wrinkle your shirt and then I’ll have to wash it again and iron it and you know how long that’ll take and we have exams now-“

“I don’t care.” and just like that Susan LaFontaine blacks out fully dressed and drunk and leaves their best friend sighing with disappoint and sitting at the edge of LaF’s bed, unbuttoning their favorite denim shirt and trying to take it off without bothering her best friend too much (whom is whimpering and murmuring for Perry to go away for a second before deciding that having all the work done by Perry’s articulate fingers is actually quite comfortable). Perry pulls the covers down to unbutton her friend’s jeans and take them off to leave LaF asleep in their sports bra and boxers, they look so cute, all curled up in their pillow and completely still. 

Perry puts on her pajamas, eats two slices of pizza, brushes her teeth and does her little night routine and gets in her bed. Perry can’t help but laugh at the silliness of her afternoon and before she falls asleep she hears LaFontaine’s whisper:

"I'm more attracted to you then F is attracted to an electron.”


End file.
